by Katharine Hansen, Ph.D.
Looking for a boost in your job search or working
life? Find yourself a mentor -- or let one find
you. A mentor is that one person who can guide
you, help you, take you under his or her wing,
and nurture your career quest. A Yoda to your
Luke Skywalker. A Glinda the Good Witch to your
Dorothy Gale. What separates a mentor from the
average network contact is long-term commitment
and a deep-seated investment in your future.
Where a typical network contact might be
associated with quick introductions, exchanges of
business cards, and phone calls, your
relationship with a mentor likely involves long
lunches and time spent in the mentor's office. A
mentor is often in a position you'd like to be in
and has the clout and connections to guide you to
a similar position. He or she is someone you
probably have unusually good chemistry with who
will share stories with you of his or her own
climb to success. An effective mentor isn't
afraid to criticize constructively.
Finding a mentor
Check first to see whether you current employer,
your college alma mater, or other organization
with which you're associated already has a formal
mentoring program in place. In these structured
arrangements, participants are sometimes given
personality assessments so that "mentees" can be
matched with compatible mentors. Other
organizations have found that when mentors and
mentees are very different, greater opportunities
for discovery emerge.
To find a mentor on your own, identify someone
you admire and respect. You can chose someone
from your own place of employment or outside it
-- or both; some people have more than one
mentor. "Serial mentors," those with whom you
have a short-term relationship, one after the
other, work well for some people. In an article
on the CareerJournal.com Website, authors
Beverly Kaye and Devon Scheef describe
short-term
mentoring relationships that comprise
"mentworking," a process combining mentoring and
networking and enabling participants to give and
receive in relationships in which everyone is
both learner and teacher. "You'll ... be sharing
your knowledge and abilities with others," the
authors write, "serving as a mentor to many. In
other words, each 'mentworker' receives and gives
brain power to others, creating multiple
short-term learning teams."
Decide what you need in a mentor -- what skills
you'd like to develop with your mentor's
assistance. Consider your goals in choosing a
mentor. Think about what characteristics you're
looking for in a mentor. You may want to do a bit
of sleuthing to find out what the prospective
mentor is like. What is his or her communication
style? Ask the would-be mentor's co-workers and
subordinates for their insights.
It's a good idea to choose someone working in the
same functional area as you are, as well as
someone who shares your values. Professional
organizations in your field, whether they offer
formal mentoring programs or not, can be
excellent sources of mentors. Test the waters by
asking advice. Be sure to reveal as much of
yourself as possible. Mentors are most likely to
invest themselves in those in whom they see a
little of themselves, which is why you should
never approach a prospective mentor in state of
desperation or helplessness.
Don't ask your direct supervisor to be your
mentor; it's better to have someone with whom you
can talk freely about career and workplace
issues. Some mentees prefer an older, more
experienced mentor at a higher organizational
level so they, too, can aspire to the upper
echelons of the career ladder, while others
benefit from peer mentors. Fast Company magazine
offers the story of Lourdes Townsend who worked
with 20 peer mentors as part of a program
sponsored by her employer, Stride Rite. "I never
thought about learning from someone on my level,"
Townsend says. "I always looked two to four
levels above me and wondered what I had to do to
get there. But the people who have the best
solutions to the problems I face are often the
people facing those problems themselves."
As Townsend's experience suggests, mentoring is
sometimes conducted in groups.
Women Unlimited, a
development program for achievement-oriented
women, employs a model in which pairs of mentors
are assigned to three mentees.
What to look for in a mentor
A mentor wants to work with someone he or she can
respect. He or she may even desire to mold the
protégé in his or her own image, which is fine as
long as the mentor is not too obsessive about it,
and you are comfortable with the image into which
you're being molded. In that sense, a mentor can
be a role model -- someone you'd like to model
yourself after -- but does not have to be. Women
and members of minorities that are
underrepresented in the workplace may find it
especially helpful to seek out mentors/role
models of the same background so they can
identify with the success of someone who has made
it in a diverse workforce.
You should have a good feel after a few meetings
as to whether the rapport is right for a
mentoring relationship. At that point, you can
either come right out and ask the person to be
your mentor, if that feels appropriate, or you
can simply tell him or her how much you've
benefited from wisdom imparted so far and you
hope he or she will continue to share it with you.
You should bring trustworthiness and the ability
to keep confidences to the mentoring
relationship, suggests Women Unlimited. The group
also suggests that mentored relationships benefit
when the mentee approaches the mentoring with
openness, honesty, introspection, realistic
expectations, accountability, and the ability to
admit mistakes and share failures. Look for
similar qualities in a mentor, the group advises,
as well as a sense of humor, good listening
skills, a high comfort level in giving feedback,
and the ability to discuss a wide range of
issues. Jeffrey Patnaude, author of Leading
from the Maze, also suggests that mentors
possess emotional intelligence, intuition, a
drive to keep learning, and a desire to bring
about change. Avoid a mentor who is too
controlling, judgmental, or a know-it-all. Look
for a positive, upbeat attitude -- someone who
will become invested in and celebrate your
success. The mentorship is especially productive
when the mentor believes he or she can learn from
you, and the relationship is a two-way street.
Nurturing the mentoring relationship
Talk with your mentor about mutual expectations
for the mentoring relationship how it will work,
what it will look like, and how often you'll
communicate. You and your mentor may want to
agree at the outset that either of you can end
the relationship at any time with no hard
feelings. Also be sure not to overburden your
mentor by demanding too much time and attention
or becoming overly dependent on your mentor. Some
experts suggest monthly meetings supplemented by
regular e-mail and phone contact. Your meetings
can be in the workplace, over a meal, at the gym,
or anyplace that's conducive to a productive
exchange of ideas. Set boundaries relating to
confidentiality, time commitments, and the areas
you mutually feel the mentor can most help you
with.
The mentor may tend to give a lot more than you
do to the relationship, so be sure to express
regularly that you value and appreciate your
mentor's guidance. The feeling of being needed
and making a difference in a protégé's life will
often be a rewarding payoff for the mentor, but
don't be afraid to supplement that reward with a
token gift, flowers, or by picking up the check
when you share a meal. You could also send a note
to the mentor's supervisor praising his or her
contribution to your professional growth.
You'll know if the mentoring relationship is
working if your mentor encourages your goals,
provides honest and constructive feedback, helps
you develop self-awareness, challenges you to
grow beyond your perceived limitations,
introduces you to movers and shakers, motivates
you to join professional organizations that can
help you advance, and above all, listens to you
and is easy to communicate with.
What do mentors do?
Your mentor can help you assess your strengths
and weaknesses, as well as help you develop
skills for success and a long-range career plan.
If you and your mentor share the same employer,
your mentor can foster your sense of belonging
within the organization, help you navigate the
company culture and politics, as well as let you
know who the organization's key players are. You
can also work through career and workplace
problems with your mentor's assistance. A mentor
can provide a fresh perspective -- a new way of
looking at a problem or issue. You can bounce
ideas off your mentor. Look for a relationship in
which the mentor is more coach than adviser --
one in which the mentor facilitates your
decision-making process by suggesting
alternatives rather than telling you what to do.
Ideally, your mentor will motivate you to do your
best work.
Mentors for college students
Find out if your university has a formal
mentoring program (alumni often serve as
mentors), and if not, ask faculty members, the
university's career-services office, and the
alumni office for suggestions about possible
mentors.
The value to a college student of being partnered
with an alumnus/alumna or other professional in
his/her field as a mentor is priceless according
to Marcia Merrill, career adviser at Loyola
College, MD. "Students (mentees) get to ask their
mentors questions about the 'real world.' Mentors
report that it's very rewarding to help someone,
remembering what it was like when they were
trying to decide on a career.
"They invite the students to job-shadow them in
the workplace to see how it really is and
experience firsthand what it's like to be an
attorney, doctor, or counselor/psychologist,"
Merrill continues. "Having a mentor can be the
first step toward deciding on pursuing a given
career." A mentor can also help a college student
make connections between theories read in books
and real-world applications of those theories in
the workplace.
"Many students begin with making networking
contacts and grow into working part- or full-time
for their mentor or their mentor's contacts.
Internships often result as the student gains the
experience needed to make a career decision,"
Merrill says.
For an inspiring first-person story of how one
college student benefited from a mentor, see
Meet
Your Mentor from Time.com's College Center.
Questions about some of the terminology used in this article? Get more information (definitions and links) on key college, career, and job-search
terms by going to our Job-Seeker's Glossary of Job-Hunting Terms.
Katharine Hansen, Ph.D., creative director and associate
publisher of Quintessential Careers, is an educator, author,
and blogger who provides content for Quintessential Careers,
edits QuintZine,
an electronic newsletter for jobseekers, and blogs about storytelling
in the job search at A Storied
Career. Katharine, who earned her PhD in organizational behavior
from Union Institute & University, Cincinnati, OH, is author of Dynamic
Cover Letters for New Graduates and A Foot in the Door: Networking
Your Way into the Hidden Job Market (both published by Ten Speed Press),
as well as Top Notch Executive Resumes (Career Press); and with
Randall S. Hansen, Ph.D., Dynamic Cover Letters, Write Your
Way to a Higher GPA (Ten Speed), and The Complete Idiot's Guide
to Study Skills (Alpha). Visit her
personal Website
or reach her by e-mail at
kathy(at)quintcareers.com.
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